OK, here's what doing here, uh. We're gonna intergrate two very important things and those are intelligence and sports!

In hockey you must score a goal
which one cannot do if between me and the net theres no hole
Most goalies are quick
react the drop of a hat
but I don't need to be quick when I got so much fat

What do you do with your 1500 pounds?
You play goalie!
[x2]

You can try the wristshot, slapshot, there's no getting through
I told you ten times you cannot fake out blubber, dude
I won't get tired, cuz I'll just lie on my side
So the other teams won't copy I'll be signed at the deadline.

Turn on channel 29 on the tele'
I've eliminated the kicksave and only block with my belly
Me and George Ezina, I'll be a new sensation
The NHL can't not let me play cuz that's discrimination!

What do you do with your 1500 pounds? (you can't spend it in England)
You play goalie.
[x2]

Hey man do you know whats up?
The Flyers could've used me in the Stanley Cup.
And I don't care if it ruins the sport of the game
cuz we're winning, Yeah we're winning!

What do you do with your 1500 pounds?
You play goalie. [repeat til end]
(and we dance like a wave of the ocean and dance. and we live and we love and we dance. and we dance and we dance and we dance)