Josh Mills, You're a goddamn genius and a motherfucking idiot
But I can never stay mad because I'm forever in your stupid debt
The top six inventions in the twenty-hundred time
I was sad, but now i'm fine fine fine
We're not shining up shit, we're coating it with gold
It's only juvenile, twenty seven years old
It's a nice new den that we're making a mess in
Let's throw away each of the anti-depressants!

[Chorus:]
It's the mustache, it's the mustache
Put it on the T.V screen, it'll make you feel better
It's the mustache, it's the mustache
Put it on the T.V screen, it'll make you feel better

Yeah!
I have a piece of Scotch tape and a Sharpie pen
I'm drawing on the mustache from end to stupid end
With the sticky side down in the middle of the shit
Improving television on the space above the lip

[Chorus]