Some folks call it spastic colon, mucous coltis,
Provokable prostate, the Spanish call it colerico tripas
I just call it grumpy bum
And it's not very much fun

Irritable bowel syndrome causes nausea, bloating and gas
Irritable bowel syndrome is like pissing off your ass

When you bowels are irritable, you're out of luck
No amount of sweet talk can ever cheer them up
The condition is influenced by emotions, doctors say
Don't rub you bum the wrong way

Irritable bowel syndrome can cause both diarrhea and constipation
Irritable bowel syndrome's not a good first date converstaion

A barium enema can really make your day
It turns the ol' black hole into the Milky Way
A sigmoidoscope is inserted, as big as Saskatoon
The sun doesn't shine on that moon

Scat for a while,

Baba ba da ba ba ba ba boo boo boo boo yeah poo poo do do do do caca zwo zwo yeah

Coffee and raw fruit and laxatives don't help and I should mention
It causes considerable clenching

Irritable bowel syndrome is irritability of the bowels
Irritable bowel syndrome makes you only speak in vowels

AAAA EEEE IIII OOOO UUUU
WHY!