Fake tales of San Francisco
Echo through the room
More point to a wedding disco
Without a bride or groom

And there's a super cool band, yeah
With their trilbies and their glasses of white wine
And all the weekend rockstars are in the toilets
Practicing their lines

I don't want to hear you (kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear you, no (kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear you (kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear you, I don't want to hear your

Fake tales of San Francisco
Echo through the air
And there's a few bored faces at the back, all
Wishing they weren't there

And as the microphone squeaks
A young girl's telephone beeps
Yeah, she's dashing for the exit
Oh, she's running to the streets outside

Oh, you've saved me
She screams down the line
The band were fucking wank and I'm not having a nice time

I don't want to hear you (kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear you, no (kick me out, kick me out)

Yeah, but his bird said it's amazing though, so all that's left
Is the proof that love's not only blind, but deaf

He talks of San Francisco, he's from Hunter's Bar
I don't quite know the distance, but I'm sure that's far
Yeah, I'm sure it's pretty far

And, yeah, I'd love to tell you all my problem
You're not from New York City, you're from Rotherham
So get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook, yeah