Johnny went and joined the army, says he wants to see the world.
Said he wants to get some money, (?)stage(?) himself into a girl.

Suzie says she needs some lovin', says she really wants it bad.
Says she's gonna start a family to get the love she never had.
She don't wanna sell her sex for money, she don't wanna dance around the pole.
Says she kind of thinks it's funny, the things she does for birth control.

I know you always wanted champagne (?)
And i know you always said to me, there's something you don't get.
But all i have to give to you is cheap wine and cigarettes.
But let me tell you, honey now, this is as good as it gets.

Mother goes and (?)gets the shopping(?), puts a coat on in the rain.
She doesn't like to talk about it, but her back's in pain again.

Father sits in front the telly, the football is about to start.
Opens up another beer can, pulls aside and lets a fart.
We're all together going nowhere, numbered in production lines.
Looking like the one beside you, happiness is the only crime.

I know you always wanted champagne (?)
And i know you always said to me, there's something you don't get.
But all i have to give to you is cheap wine and cigarettes.
But let me tell you, sweetheart now, this is as good as it gets.